This Moved Me

Scott C. Jones - comedian, TV host, writer - and now a speaker! - has joined me on the show as a budding speaker with a wide performance background. Scott's story is powerful. He's been in front of the TV camera for years; and after a health setback, he's found himself recreating his presence, and his story. We talk about risk, our stories, saying yes, learning from our work, the craft of expressing ourselves - and the wonderful ways we find ourselves in this arena.

Scott, I'm a fan! Thanks for reaching out - and for sharing your story with us!

Direct download: Scott_Jones_Podcast_Session_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

Aside from "Starting with an A" and "Leggo-ing Your Ego" and "Investing in the Relationship" - you need to be sure that feedback is both honest AND helpful. It's a simple filter, that asks just a little more of both the feedback give and the feedback receiver. 

Direct download: MMM_Feedback_Part_4_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

John Zimmer - lawyer, Toastmasters master, speaker, improviser and communications coach - joined me for a conversation about how we can bring the art of communication to ANY opportunity you have. Whether you're in a courtroom, or giving a TED talk, doing improv, sitting in an interview, or standing in front of your coworkers for a meeting - these skills are essential to moving your audience.

I love John's breadth of experience - and how he brings these skills to so many arenas. As he says, "The more ways you can speak, the better the speaker you can become."

(Check out John's amazing website with tons of speech analysis - and, his wonderful TEDx talk!)

Direct download: John_Zimmer_Podcast_Session_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

Simply put - you cannot grow through feedback unless you have a relationship with each other. Without a relationship, there might be some food for thought given and perhaps integrated - but likely discarded. Trust. It's what's for feedback dinner.
 
 
 
Direct download: MMM_Feedback_Part_3_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

In May, I participated in a Listen To Your Mother event. Have you heard of Listen To Your Mother? You may have heard my interview with LTYM founder Ann Imig from last fall, or perhaps you've been in the audience of one of the 41 shows that takes place throughout the country. Or, maybe you've run across the LTYM YouTube channel, with their hundreds of talks from the last 7 years! Or the book.

And even with all that, if you haven't heard of LTYM, now you know. And now you've gotta get yourself to one of these events!

in this episode I talk with three people who took part in this spring's Twin Cities show - Junita Flowers, Vikki Reich and Liz Sjaastad. Enjoy!

Direct download: TMM_LTYM_Special__mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

We most often think of asking people who are receiving feedback to let go of their egos... See it as a gift... do not defend or explain yourself... Not getting defensive in the midst of receiving feedback can be a Herculean effort sometimes - depending on who is giving it. It is an incredibly human and vulnerable moment.
 
And here's the thing. It should be a vulnerable moment for the feedback giver, too. 
 
(And, I personally think sometimes there's helpful information in the explanation if the person is truly open to what you're saying.) 
 
Can you approach this conversation with curiosity? Without all the answers? interested in how the other person might be interested in solving the problems that you see or that you are experiencing? Assuming the other person's best interests are at the forefront? 
 
And I know, I know - sometimes the other person's best interests AREN'T at the heart of things. I've been there. When I first started coaching, I was so focused on proving myself, I took the speaker down to show how much I knew. Ugh. That was Ego, and I regret it. 
 
Or when a speaker cannot HEAR what you're trying to say because they are so protective of what they have created. Their ego is getting in the way of learning, growing and the possibility of more. I get it - it's crazy-vulnerable and, if you and your story and your heart are in your talk, it can feel - and be - personally painful to not just stand up and say it, but to hear that it's not ok as it is. 
 
Which is why we must all step into these conversations having LEGGO of our Egos.
Direct download: MMM_Feedback_Part_2_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

Vanessa Van Edwards - scientist and speaker - joined me for a conversation about how to present yourself... or, as I almost titled this episode: How Not to Be Awkward. Why is Vanessa the expert on this topic? As a "recovering awkward person" herself, she approached the soft skills of presenting, love, and influence - studying it like she studies science. And through that she has been able to bring to light some key lessons for all of us on the science of influence, charisma and presenting ourselves with confidence and credibility.

 
Direct download: Vanessa_Van_Edwards_Podcast_Session_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

I always ask for feedback on my coaching, speaking and trainings. Partly because I want to be sure that what I'm doing is working and I want to know ways I can get better - but also because I give so much darn feedback it only feels right to offer people a chance to give some to me. 
 
And one of the things I hear again and again is that I have a way of giving candid feedback in a loving way. In a way that people appreciate and hear and can learn from. It's one of the highest compliments that I have received in my work, and I appreciate it greatly - not only because it makes me an effective coach, but because that's how I want to do business. I want to help people be better speakers, but I also want to hold people up and celebrate them. I love people. And I want them to FEEL good, as well as do good work.  And there was a time when I wondered if you could do both. That's an old paradigm of thinking - and I'm so glad to de-bunk it. You can do both. In fact, I think all things work best when you can do both.
 
Not that there aren't times when you're giving a hard message that isn't welcome; that happens a lot. It's part of the job. And I'm often hired to do exactly that (give the tough messages). But who cares? - and does it even matter? - if people feel deflated and defeated after the message? It doesn't. 
 
So - as I start this series on Feedback for the next few Fridays, I wanted to share with you 4 key ideas that are essential in giving and receiving feedback in a way that makes us better, all the way around: 
 
 

On Feedback, Part 1: Start with an A

Direct download: MMM_Feedback_Part_1_Getting_an_A_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

Happy Season 3!
This is big, friends. I had the huge honor of having a 45-minute conversation with the amazing Rob Bell. In fact, I call him that so often I think he should just change his name to "the amazing Rob Bell."

Here's the technicalities of his impressive bio:

Rob Bell is The New York Times bestselling author of Love Wins, What We Talk About When We Talk about God, The Zimzum of Love and his most recent book How To Be Here. iTunes named his podcast, The RobCast, Best of 2015. He’s been profiled in The New Yorker, he’s toured with Oprah on her Life You Want Tour, and in 2011 Time Magazine named him one of the 100 Most Influential People In The World. He has a regular show at Largo, the legendary music and comedy club in West Hollywood and is currently touring his How To Be Here Experience around the world. He and his wife Kristen have three children and live in Los Angeles.

[Holy crap, people. Oprah. Time Magazine. Books. And!, he's besties with, like, all my favorite people. I'm sorry, I can't stop gushing.]

But here's what I've learned by watching his talks (inspiring, and a masterclass in the craft of speaking) and listening to his podcast (love it, one of my faves) and reading his books (smarty and awesome): Rob Bell is the real deal, and he is led by an internal compass and a sincere quest to follow his curiosity and soak up the life that is in front of him. He is smart. He is funny. He is grounded. He is not afraid to change his life and challenge others, and speak up. And after a brief 45-minute conversation, I felt like we were friends. I hope that's true, because he is a good person to have in this world. I have benefitted from him just being here.

So what I'm saying, movers, is that it's not just a really impressive and long list of accolades; it could be infinitely longer if you named all the people he's impacted, inspired, and changed.

Direct download: Rob_Bell_Podcast_Session_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

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